Wednesday, June 30, 2004

So I walk by the HR department this morning, and there's a guy slumped over in his chair, dead asleep, with an application in his hand. Dude! How the fuck are you gonna come look for a job and fall asleep? Seriously, if you didn't have to get up to go to work you could've hit that snooze button a few more times, at least be able to muster up the energy to stay awake for the ten minutes it takes to fill out a job app.

What's sad is that he'll probably be sitting next to me next week.

Tuesday, June 29, 2004

Michael Moore
“I want to thank all the right-wing organizations out there who tried to stop the film, either from their harassment campaign that didn’t work on the theater owners, or going to the FEC to get our ads removed from television, to all the things that have been said on television. “It’s only encouraged more people to go and see it.”
Suckas.


Sunday, June 27, 2004

Ronald Reagan



A very interesting tribute...

Songs That Get Stuck in My Head

FC

Footy

VAG FACE

Whatever you do, DO NOT click here. Seriously, just don't do it. It will disturb you. You've been warned.

Robots Are Our Friends

Jenn Rivell is Still Popular

This is what happens when you use Angelfire to host a zip file that apparently got linked to a lot...


What is bandwidth?

Bandwidth is the amount of data that is used to transfer a member's Web page (including the HTML, graphics, text, sound files, etc.) from the host server to the person viewing the page. If the contents of the page equals 1 MB, and the page is viewed 100 times in one day, the total bandwidth would be 100 MB.

Days over limit this month:
DATE TIME
May 30 at 23:19 EST 2 hours
May 31 at 1:49 EST 2 hours
May 31 at 5:20 EST 2 hours
May 31 at 7:50 EST 2 hours
May 31 at 9:51 EST 2 hours
May 31 at 12:19 EST 2 hours
May 31 at 15:50 EST 2 hours
May 31 at 18:49 EST 2 hours
May 31 at 21:19 EST 2 hours
May 31 at 23:49 EST 2 hours
June 1 at 3:50 EST 2 hours
June 1 at 5:50 EST 2 hours
June 4 at 7:50 EST 2 hours
June 4 at 9:51 EST 2 hours
June 4 at 12:18 EST 2 hours
June 4 at 15:19 EST 2 hours
June 4 at 17:20 EST 2 hours
June 4 at 19:49 EST 2 hours
June 4 at 22:19 EST 2 hours
June 5 at 1:21 EST 2 hours
June 5 at 3:50 EST 2 hours
June 5 at 6:19 EST 2 hours
June 5 at 8:50 EST 2 hours
June 5 at 11:21 EST 2 hours
June 5 at 13:49 EST 2 hours
June 5 at 15:49 EST 2 hours
June 6 at 3:52 EST 2 hours
June 6 at 20:49 EST 2 hours
June 6 at 23:49 EST 2 hours
June 7 at 1:52 EST 2 hours
June 7 at 4:20 EST 2 hours
June 7 at 7:50 EST 2 hours
June 7 at 10:22 EST 2 hours
June 7 at 12:49 EST 2 hours
June 7 at 14:50 EST 2 hours
June 7 at 16:50 EST 2 hours
June 7 at 19:50 EST 2 hours
June 7 at 21:50 EST 2 hours
June 8 at 0:19 EST 2 hours
June 9 at 18:50 EST 2 hours
June 9 at 21:19 EST 2 hours
June 9 at 23:49 EST 2 hours
June 14 at 21:19 EST 2 hours
June 14 at 23:49 EST 2 hours
June 15 at 1:52 EST 2 hours
June 15 at 4:50 EST 2 hours
June 15 at 7:20 EST 2 hours
June 15 at 10:22 EST 2 hours
June 15 at 13:51 EST 2 hours
June 15 at 16:50 EST 2 hours
June 15 at 19:49 EST 2 hours
June 16 at 7:20 EST 2 hours
June 16 at 10:49 EST 2 hours
June 16 at 12:49 EST 2 hours
June 16 at 14:50 EST 2 hours
June 16 at 17:20 EST 2 hours
June 16 at 19:49 EST 2 hours
June 16 at 21:49 EST 2 hours
June 17 at 0:18 EST 2 hours
June 17 at 2:51 EST 2 hours

Sunday, June 20, 2004

Happy Poppy's Day!

These are poppies, dumbshit.

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

SUMO FLORIST

Thank you Jesus for my cock!


Double-Extreme Giggle Pants.

Lindsay Lohan's Breasts!

Implants? Photoshop? Do you care?

Watch Transformers Breakdance?

HOW TO FIND A JOB!

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

Texas Sex Offenders

This is really cool if you live in Texas, because you can enter any address and it will bring up a map locating any registered sex offender in the area, after which you can click on their name and get their picture, offense, and age of victim, etc. I've had my suspicions about the creepy old guy who drives the Mustang around the corner, and now I can sleep a bit easier.

If you don't live in Texas, then I guess it's not that cool. Too bad for you, I guess you can always go look at squirrel movies.

I'm Pierced!

Why would you not change your name???

Kenya
This is only funny to me because I work with a guy from Kenya. Seriously. His name is Ken, which only makes it funnier.

Monday, June 14, 2004

Q. Why does Kobe Bryant wear goggles when he's having sex?

A. To keep the mace out of his eyes.

Friday, June 11, 2004

WIGGAZ.COM

The elusive Skinny Pimp, representing Bedford.


An inexperienced wigger hunter caught this rare picture of a wigger displaying his aggressive nature in an attempt to scare the cameraman out of his house. In this case, the cameraman had noticed a lowered Toyota Corolla in the driveway and the sounds of Eminem coming from the living room. Taking this as evidence of a wigger dwelling, the cameraman walked in on this wigger who was engaged in practicing his dance moves for the senior prom. Ashamed and embarrassed, he is now puffing his chest and throwing signs in an attempt to scare the cameraman. Although entertaining, let the readers understand that wigger hunting is indeed dangerous and the act of walking uninvited into a wigger dwelling can be extremely perilous. The wigger hunter faces the possibility of a pellet wound or serious scolding by the wigger's parents when attempting such feats and that is why we encourage our readers to leave the hunting to us.

Dallas Road Rage

Tuesday, June 08, 2004

DEAR SUSAN

Everyone Loves Bob

Dookie Face??

Why Do Men Like Breasts?

Okay, so you’ve got the intro to Purple Haze, the intro to Voodoo Child, the intro to Baba O’Riley, the end of Metallica’s One, the crazy fucking drums in Hot for Teacher, the “breathing solo” in Personal Jesus, Sympathy for the Devil, Don't Fear the Reaper, Biz Markie, Johnny Rotten, Michael Jackson when he was black, the part of Bohemian Rhapsody that we all sing along with in the car because of Wayne’s World, and the end of The End!!!

It’s THE 50 COOLEST SONG PARTS OF ALL TIME and it’s great. You can listen to parts of at least 40 of the fifty and there’s a lotta goodness in there.

Reagan At Bitburg


Paying tribute to the Nazi war dead on VE Day. Classy!

Thank You Ronald Reagan, for the largest deficit in US history, for creating the myth of the Welfare Queen, for supporting the "Freedom Fighters" in El Salvador, and the right wing death squads in Guatemala, funding and supporting Saddam Hussein, for arranging for the Iranians to hold onto those American hostages until Carter lost the election, for your "Voodoo Economics". Where did that safety net go?

You were a religious family man who didn't go to church and couldn't be bothered to pay attention to your children. Thanks for ignoring AIDS.

Thank you for selling arms to Iran (our enemies) in order to fund Contra death squads in Nicaragua, which would be treason if anybody else did it. But you were above all that.Thanks for pointing out that "if you've seen one tree, you've seen 'em all", that trees are responsible for pollution and that catsup is a vegetable.

And then you got Alzheimers, which means that nobody can say anything bad about you ever again. Well, thank you, Ronald Reagan, for always being able to deliver your lines.



Found here.

Monday, June 07, 2004

I've never seen anyone TP the inside of someone's apartment.

The Pussy Snorkel

The Pussy Snorkel allows a man to continue breathing while performing oral sex on a woman in a spa, bathtub or even a bowl of green Jell-O. Insert the breathing apparatus into your nostrils, rub the clitoral stimulator against your favorite coral reef and start with the tongue action. With the Pussy Snorkel, any man can be a dive master.

Kerry vs. Peeps

ROCK ON!!!

Why don't we get a condom ambulance?

Friday, June 04, 2004

Spelling Bee

Kid goes bug-eyed, collapses, no one rushes to help him, he gets back up, and spells his word.

TODAY IS WONDERFUL!!